Monday, May 2, 2011

Congratulations America

     Osama Bin Laden is dead, so lets jump around in the streets, and make complete asses of ourselves.  We might not want to forget that he was one man, one part of a plan that took dozens more.

     Let us jump around in the streets inciting more anger, and looking the fool.  Reinforcing their belief of our arrogant nature.  And please let us thank the agencies that took place in his killing, creating a martyr that can never be killed.

     Let us jump up and down in the streets celebrating our idiocy.  Please celebrate the new leader that wants to kill us empowered with our images of complete celebration over the death of another person in this war. Empowered  now with the idea of avenging Osama Bin Laden, and stopping our arrogance.

     I choose not to do these things but rather chastise our government for not capturing this man, showing our courage to try him in international courts for crimes against the world.  Allowing his countrymen to realize the vigor in which we as a world will stand together against terrorism.

     I choose to silently pray for the families that he has hurt, hoping that in this they may find some closure but more importantly I will take the time today to remember those that were lost on September 11th.  I will hope they are at peace and doing the celebrating for me because in all of this death and hatred for each other it is hard to smile.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Racism is a mental disease!

BULLSHIT

and for those who did not hear me, BULLSHIT

     Aren't we all tired of nothing is anyone’s fault anymore.  Little Johnny doesn't mean to be rude; he was just raised that way.

     Racism is a Mental Disease?,  really maybe it is just some cold we caught while walking the dog, Damn its cold out there I think I may be coming down with a touch of Racism?

    This rain is a killer, I think I might be getting a little pedophilia.  Honestly officer I did not mean to put my penis there I just forgot to take my antibiotics today?


     People every day make decisions right and wrong, and we over think the causes.  Maybe he is a racist becuase he is ignorant, or flat out stupid, being the optimist that I am I will go with ignorant




Monday, April 25, 2011

Missed Ideas

     Companies today are always looking for different market to which to sell their wares, here are some markets I thinks were left out.  More to come in the future;


For the Necropheliac.

     KY warming jelly.  Designed for couples originally.  It is an aid to help arousal and further stimulate intimate moments.   The Necropheliac has not been addresed in the marketing.  I beleive this niche could have expanded their profits.  The slogan should go something like this... "KY Warming Jelly, all of the warmth and lubrication of the living with out the bitching"

Total Male Enhancement

     Sometimes different companies should get together.  Take for example Rogaine and Viagra or any of the sort.

     One pill can cure E.D. along with grow your hair.  How great would that be.  Of course who would be a better person to be the face for such a thing:

     Looks like he has already been taking it for years!

Monday, April 18, 2011

GLOBAL WARMING

     A special message to my Michigan friends.

     Keep it up, the use of your Compact Flouresent bulb, your commuting to work in your hybrid automobile, recycling your toilet paper it all paid off today.

     Al Gore announced today, on the internet he created, that Michigan is no longer subject to Global Warming.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

School Lunches

     Recently I have heard people debating school lunches.  Not having heard any of the facts or the arguments here is my opinion.

     Pack your kid a lunch.  It is bad enough that I without any children am robbed of my money to give to the schools.  School taxes should be limited to those whom have chosen to have children.  Please don't shoot the argument down my throat that "it benefits everyone to have smarter children", smarter children are made at home not in schools.  Democrats are made in schools.

     Empty out the soup kitchen, sell the very expensive equipment, eliminate the daily along with legacy costs of Flo, the lunch lady and all of her broom riding mop pushing minions. Use the damn money generated there to hire another teacher (baby sitter) and use the space to help with class room overcrowding,

     There are already laws in place that say parents have to feed the children.  There are already social programs that provide food for the needy.  When they are old enough they can pack the lunch for themselves until then, either have the old enough child do it or get up in the morning and ensure it happens.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Chattahoochee

     This morning as I was passing over the Chattahoocheee River, I could not help but wonder.

     Does it really get hotter than a hoochie coochie.  How many "hoochie coochie's" exactly were tested in this statement.  What device was used to determine temperature, was relative humidity a factor?

     "Way down yonder" and "we laid rubber"  Mr. Jackson!
 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

We are all Americans

 
     For those who do not know, America is a continent. Our Country is known as the United States of America. 

     Maybe rather than referring to ourselves as "Americans" we should start referring to ourselves as "The United" Truly when we say we are Americans we are lumping ourselves in with two other countries.  Mexico, Canada, ourselves, we are all Americans.

     Take some pride in being a citizen of The United States... of America.  Dropping the United is sad; it is our union that has made us strong in the world.  The unions we have with other like minded countries, and most importantly the unions we have together. 

     Don't just stick by your country, stick by your neighbor.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Few Things I Hate

1.       I hate things that are named something they are not.   Planned Parenthood.  It seems to me that “Planned Parenthood” should really be named something like,   Planned Un-Parenthood.  Or something really more realistic, Orgasm Orgasm Pregnant Shit.  Representatives could fall in this category as well, while their name is not a total misnomer,  whom they claim to represent is a complete lie.  Sure they represent but it is not the people, Republican, Democrat, or any other party, these individuals are representing the paycheck.  Not your paycheck either.  Pigs with lipstick.
2.       The Cross.  I said it, I hate the cross.  No matter where your religious stand is the cross is ridiculous!  Maybe wear a silver plated flip flop, loaf of bread, anything other than a cross.  Having been at one time a Sunday School  Teacher, Song Director, and Youth Group Leader in a Baptist Church I speak now saying , “What the Fuck?”.  If someday our mythological hero does return do you think that’s what he wants to see.  Folks this is what starts the earth burning in Armageddon.   Christ is going to come down from Heaven, see everyone bearing witness and paying homage to the chunk of wood he was pinned to, the thing he was nailed to and left to die on, or so the story goes.  I would burn the place down too.


This is titled “A few things I hate” so for today I will leave it at only a couple of things I hate.  So its not exactly what I called it, crucify me.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

     It is not often I find value in movies, however I find it appropriate here for my first “Blog” to reference one of the stupidest movies in history.  Though I am not a fan of stupid humor movies the first fifteen (and I am probably exaggerating) minutes of “Idiocracy” was scary and I believe true.
     It is my belief,  as represented in those few moments of “Idiocracy”,and all races have their own version of the trailer park, that the trailer park society is soon going to overpopulate our world. 
     Please  don’t look to me for the wisdom or desire to fix the situation, there are far too many laws preventing any viable resolution that I may conceive.  If I could somehow convince the more intelligent and affluent members of our planet to spawn more stock then maybe we would have a chance.  Of course I say we as though I am not a part of the trailer park or is it that I will not live that long?
     So to myself I say “Be Free, and Good Luck”.  To you I say I hope somewhere down the line I really do offend you in a thought provoking manner.

http://www.spike.com/video-clips/f8drn8/first-10-minutes-of-idiocracy-clip-1